Things Fall Apart
by kach-noona
Summary: Complete. Oneshot. James watches his parents' marriage fall apart."The first time I saw Dad cry was when Mum left him. Of course, I was sad. But I wasn't surprised." Deviates from canon. Post-DH, pre-Epilogue.


**Things Fall Apart**

a harry potter fanfic

_by kach-noona_

* * *

The first time I saw Dad cry was when Mum left him.

Of course, I was sad.

But I wasn't surprised.

_they called us the golden family, the indestructible ones_

There were some late-night squabbles. It all started, or at least I first found out about it, the summer after my first year at Hogwarts.

I was getting restless after finally being at home and snuck down to the parlor to grab the bag of pranks Uncle George had gifted me with a wild grin.

But before I could go up, I heard heated whispers coming from the kitchen.

It was Mum and Dad.

I froze. No kid wants to hear their parents fight, but my curiosity got the better of me.

So I stayed, breath caught in my throat, as I listened to them argue for at least a half-hour.

_and we once believed them_

The whispers turned into darker words, their voices rising and cutting each other off. Finally they stopped and murmured something to each other. When the sound of chairs scraping the ground started, I was already up the stairs, treading carefully into my room with my newly-found, unappreciated knowledge.

_until our faith was tested_

The day after, Dad took us to Diagon Alley, a rare treat as it wasn't a holiday or school shopping. We browsed Eeylops Owl Emporium, goggled at the rare and smelly specimens in the Apothecary, and wandered into the Leaky Cauldron for some lunch. Al and Lily were tons excited, Al strolling into Flourish and Blotts to pick up the latest action novel by T.H. Allsfair, Lily spraying herself with perfume and draping herself with scarves. But I was frightened by the night before and watched Dad closely.

He was smiling, albeit a bit forcefully. Other than that, he seemed perfectly content watching his children meander around. When I picked up a Snitch from Quality Quidditch Supplies, Dad got it for me and chuckled when I wasn't paying attention and it zoomed into my mouth. He told me about the time he swallowed a Snitch and we both got a good laugh out of how he told the story.

Dad finally took us to Great-Aunt Andromeda's house where we played with Teddy. Teddy was the best playmate ever – he could turn into anything, Merlin, Gryffindor, Dad, Headmistress McGonagall, even Voldemort. We spent several hours acting out the war and Hogwarts until Mum Floo'd and asked for us back.

"Where's Dad?" I asked.

"At work, love," Mum said.

Her smile was strained.

When dad got home, nearly past midnight, they started fighting again.

It went on almost every night.

_small rips here and there_

They never shouted or screamed, never hit each other with curses or fists. But after each one of their midnight fights, they became more aloof, more distant from each other.

The trips to Diagon Alley and Teddy's house became more frequent. When Dad had a busy day, Mum would take us shopping with Auntie Parvati or hunting for Crumple-horned Snorkacks and Elethumper Weevilsprouts with Auntie Luna.

After each fight, even if the next day were a weekend or a holiday, Dad went to work after taking us somewhere. If Mum took us, she would leave us at the Burrow afterwards as she worked on her Quidditch column.

They stopped sleeping in the same room. Al and Lily didn't notice.

But I did.

_caught on an edge, another tear_

Finally, after night after night of listening in to their arguments, they caught me. It was the squeaky old seventh step that gave me away, the one I usually avoided but was too tired to miss that night.

"Hello? Lily? Jamie? Al?" Dad called out. "Come down here."

The game was up. If I had been caught smuggling in one of Uncle George's tricks again, I would be feeling sheepish and already equipped with my defense.

But being caught listening in on your parents' fight makes you feel very different indeed - nervous, trembling, anxious, a wreck out-of-control.

I walked into the kitchen. "Hi..." I said uncertainly.

Dad frowned while Mum stared at the floor. Her face was taut with anger and her mouth pinched. Dad looked very tired and frustrated.

"Why were you up, James?" Dad asked.

I hesitated. "I woke up and heard you guys talking, so I sneaked down..." which was the truth. Well, most of it. I didn't need to tell them that I had heard each and every one of their 'discussions'.

_careless, flimsy_

Dad sighed and shook his head. "Go back to sleep." He turned to Mum. "We should, too."

Mum nodded and they made their way out of the kitchen, Mum first.

Dad stopped at the doorway and patted my head. "G'night, son."

"Good night, Dad."

Mum made her way into the bedroom.

Dad went to his study.

_the material wearing thin_

The day after I was caught, we went shopping for my school supplies in Diagon Alley, me, Lily, Al, and Dad. Mum was there too.

She and Dad walked side-by-side, but they didn't hold hands.

Come to think of it, my parents were usually very affectionate. They would hug and hold hands in public, and kiss on the mouth at home. I would call it embarrassing as they laughed and Lily would get all starstruck and ready for her own "great romance".

But that had all changed over the summer. Now, they could barely look each other in the eye, except for when they were arguing.

Al noticed, even though he was only nine.

When we were alone in Madame Malkin's, getting fitted for robes while Mum took Lily to see Uncle George and Dad went to Gringotts, Al tugged on my sleeve and looked at me with his big, solemn eyes.

"Jamie," he said, "There's something wrong with Mum and Dad."

I sighed. "Yeah, Al. You noticed too?"

Al nodded. "I heard them fighting a few times, and I heard you get caught by them last night."

I closed my eyes, weary of the entire summer, and felt cool fingers hesitantly slip into mine.

Al looked at me with a determined face. "We can't let Lily know," he said.

I thought about it. At this rate, our parents would probably either get stay married, bitter and resentful towards each other, poisoning us all. Or, they would get divorced and leave Lily – and the rest of us – absolutely devastated. Either way, Lily would find out the truth.

_hems fraying_

But she was only seven years old, too young to understand, really, even if Al and I were only a few years older than she. But as her older brothers, we were supposed to protect Lily for as long as possible.

I nodded. "We can't. Let her know, I mean." And Al left my side as Madame Malkin called for him to get measured for his robes.

"Hello there! You precious dearie – let me have a look at you!" The seamstress cooed. "Why, it was just yesterday I was measuring your brother, and your father, and your mother!"

I froze and barely heard her next words, "You must already be excited for Hogwarts, eh? Stand still, stand still. We'll have you wearing your house colors in but a few scant years!"

Mum and Dad…I still hoped that everything could turn back to normal. We would all be smiling again together at dinnertime, rather than Dad at work, Mum making something for us and then leaving to go work in her office.

But that hope was slowly slipping away.

_holes going unpatched_

I woke up to the din of shouting, unintelligible voices. I flung my door open and saw Lily and Al's scared faces half-masked by the shadows of the bannister. The clamor grew louder and clearer as I made my way to the top of the flight of stairs.

"You…I can't believe…despicable…I should've…never married you!"

I was shocked. Al went wide-eyed, and Lily started to cry as more spells were hurtled.

The clamor was deafening. Silverware crashing to the ground, wood splintering, glass shattering, hexes and jinxes volleyed back and forth.

Mum shrieked out her Bat-Bogey Hex and I heard Dad whip out a Shield Charm. Something thumped to the floor and my dad started swearing. He roared, "Enough! Stop it, now!"

And then the distinct crack of a hand meeting flesh resounded throughout the house.

The ruckus of the brawl stopped.

I rushed down the stairs, Al on my heels while carrying Lily on his back. We ran into the kitchen to find it in utter disarray.

What was left of our dinner was now liberally sprinkled on the floor. Deep gouges scarred the overturned table and chairs. The magical cabinet Great-Aunt Andromeda gave as a housewarming present had most of its glass missing, and its door swung from only one hinge. The wall was marred with gashes, some still bubbling with the residue of magic.

Mum was kneeling in the middle of the chaos, hunched over and sobbing. I was instantly angry. How dare Dad hit Mum! I seethed. But when I turned to see him, my anger dissipated and was replaced with horror.

He stood still, eyes wide open and full of shock.

On his left cheek he sported a bright red handprint, petite fingermarks blooming from the small imprint of the palm.

Mum had hit Dad.

_threads loosening from their woven cradle_

The next day, Mum was gone.

It was Lily who found out first, Lily who woke me up with her bawling. Dread knotted in the pit of my stomach as I stepped out into the hallway. "What's wrong, Lily?" I asked.

Lily's leaky, red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked face spoke volumes.

I sprinted down the stairs, heart pounding, but stopped at the kitchen, where evidence of the previous night was apparent. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine that Mum was in there, cooking waffles and dropping eggs onto a sizzling pan. But when I opened my eyes, the vision vanished and I was left staring at the painful reminder of the breaking point of my parents' marriage. At least, that was what I assumed.

I raced to Mum and Dad's bedroom, which had been Mum's for the past few weeks.

The bed was neatly made, no sign of anybody having slept in it. There was a note lying on the covers:

_Dear Harry: This time, I'm saying goodbye. – Ginny._

I frantically searched the closet and came up empty-handed. Mum had taken everything with her, from her cashmeres and suits all the way down to her socks and unmentionables.

None of the pictures were missing, however, except for the one of Mum and Dad at their wedding that was usually kept on the nightstand, an easy story-starter for us kids when we were young and would climb into our parents' bed.

I found the wedding photo under the bed. The moving images of Mum and Dad smiled and stretched out their arms.

But they couldn't fully embrace as their picture had been ripped in half.

And when Dad found the note, the empty closet, and the torn picture, I saw him cry for the very first time.

_unraveling, turning into a heap of string_

The divorce papers were finalized by August 31st, the day before school started.

On September 1st, I boarded the Hogwarts Express.

As the train pulled out of the station, I waved goodbye to Al, Lily, and Dad. Uncle Ron and Aunt Mione stood beside them, comforting Dad, their faces soft and compassionate as they held Rose and Hugo. Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur were fussing over Dominique and Louis while Uncle Percy and Aunt Audrey clasped Lucy and Molly's hands. Grandmum and Granddad were there as well. But no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find Mum on the platform.

I choked back a sob as the Express left the station.

_things_

_f all_

_ap a rt_

* * *

A/N: Greetings, fair folk of fanfiction! This is my first ever published fanfic. Hope you enjoyed reading Things Fall Apart! It may be one of the darkest pieces I have to offer, or merely the beginning of many.

Please leave a review - I am happy to accept all types of relevant feedback! Relevant, meaning non-flames. Constructive criticism is, of course, always appreciated, as are simple comments and compliments!

UPDATE 11/19/12: major revisions! It really pays to re-read your work. Have fun reading!

UPDATE 3/21/13: new pen-name! baroquesoul is now kach-noona.

(Also, 380 hits and only 1 review? I am confused...)

Well, enjoy reading! And reviews are much appreciated, thank you! :)

(Seriously. One little itty bitty review that takes about 30 seconds to type. Please feed the review-hungry writer!)


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